


Treat or Die!

by NighttimePhilosopher



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Amethyst and Peridot have potty mouths and Steven needs an Adult, F/F, F/M, Fights, Gen, Halloween, Minor Angst, Minor canon divergence, Peridot has limited shapeshifting ability, Steven & Connie friendship for the soul, T for swearing, Trick or Treating, because I wanted her to be a cat, fight and make up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:21:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26894386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NighttimePhilosopher/pseuds/NighttimePhilosopher
Summary: What happens when Amethyst and Peridot can't compromise on tricking OR treating on Halloween? Slight AU since Peridot has limited shapeshifting powers.
Relationships: Amethyst & Peridot (Steven Universe), Amethyst/Peridot (Steven Universe), Connie Maheswaran & Steven Universe
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	Treat or Die!

**Author's Note:**

> AU because Peridot has limited shapeshifting powers. Also assumes Amethyst recently apologized for throwing away Peridot’s limb enhancers.
> 
> Enjoy and happy weird 2020 Halloween!!!

The door slammed in their faces, several pieces of candy littering the ground. Amethyst was too mad to notice the sweet treats, or the person glaring from the lit window.

“Pear, _c’mon_ , what gives?! How’re we getting any candy if you keep this up?!”

“I told you before, Amethyst. Last year we solely demanded treats from humans, so in brilliant contrast, this year I have decided to ‘trick’ everyone we meet!”

Amethyst frowned down into her plastic cauldron bucket, which housed a small bundle of green fur with challenging eyes and exact pointed ears, a triangular gem seated between them. “Dude, it’s legit in the name. Y’know, trick _or_ treat? Duh.”

“You still possess confectionary from the previous _Halloed Ween_ in your unorganized mess of a room! I’ve seen it myself! Your needs are met.”

“Well, yeah, but you don’t get it! I’m not gonna eat those ones, they’re turning into a sweet something of their own! And it’s _Halloween_ , dumbass.”

The bundle rose out of the candy bucket, shaping to be a strict, thin feline figure complete with an annoyed expression. Peridot had turned herself into a cat. “ _You_ don’t seem to comprehend that candy is not restricted to this specific 24-hour time period!! You can acquire sugar particles in reinforced bagging for your ridiculous _meep morp_ anytime you want.” She spat out. She poked a tiny paw to Amethyst’s gem, glaring up at her. “You are being selfish and rude, Amethyst.”

“Ohoho, _I’m_ being selfish? What about you, huh, with your stupid little scare tactic that’s pissing _everyone_ off and _ruining_ _Halloween_?”

Peridot looked insulted now. “I am _not_ the one ruining Halloween—"

“Guuuyyysss, trick or treating is about having fun, not arguing the whole time!” Steven whined from beside them, throwing his head back, his plumber hat falling off in the process. “Amethyst, Halloween isn’t the only time you can get free candy. Also, you’re swearing a lot and I can’t keep blocking my ears. Peridot, you can’t keep jumping out of the bucket and yelling _‘die!’_ at everyone -- _especially children_ \-- as loud as you can. It isn’t nice.”

“ _You’re_ not nice!!” Peridot hissed, batting at him. Amethyst pushed her back down into the pot with her palm, earning a growl.

It was relatively warm, a nice night for Halloween, Beach City dressed for the annual occasion in a casual fashion. Some people had very elaborate costumes that they’d spent time on, and others wore tacky store-bought get-ups that screamed last minute. No matter the dedication, everyone was out for a spooky night of tricks and treats with their friends and family. Amethyst and Peridot had been especially excited for this Halloween since Amethyst had been mentoring Peridot’s unconfident shapeshifting abilities into a real practiced art. She had the basics down now, and although she didn’t possess Amethyst’s skills, Peridot could pull off a pretty good cat. But now, instead of enjoying trick or treating together, they were fighting over it.

Steven took the cauldron’s handle from a grumpy Amethyst. “Since we don’t have more than one candy bucket--”

“Thanks to _Peridot_.” Amethyst grumbled, side-eying the gem who had used the buckets from last year for meep morps. Peridot hissed at her.

“--we all need to share this one, and that means getting along with each other is a must.” Steven said, ever the mediator, earning groans from the two. “Amethyst?” He offered the bucket with cat Peridot in it, but not to take.

Amethyst sulked at Steven, blowing hair out of her face before she burst into a brilliant lilac light in contrast to the dull street lamps, shrinking her form down into one similar to Peridot’s, silky and fluffy and touchable in comparison to the short and angled arrangement Peridot had chosen.

Steven picked her up, her limbs splaying in a futile attempt to avoid joining Peridot in the round bucket. She reluctantly allowed herself to be fed into it, barely fitting alongside the other simmering gem. They arranged themselves uncomfortably, stepping on each other’s paws in what could be interpreted as intentional or not. No matter what it was, Steven picked his red cap up off the ground and took off to the next house on the street, feeling uneasy about the two.

The gems recognized that they had arrived at the next house when the bucket stopped swinging them to and fro. Poking their heads up, they watched as Steven’s hand pressed the doorbell, a ding resonating from somewhere inside. Steven fixed his fake moustache above them. “Okay, let’s try to trick _and_ treat this time.”

As they waited for the house owner to attend, Amethyst whispered. “Look dude, I like your idea of givin’ some peeps a good fright, it’s Halloween, I respect that. Tricks are badass.” It was basically into Peridot’s twitching ear because of their proximity. Steven heard her swear and reminded her he was there by prodding her furry head. “But it’s trick _or_ treat, and we haven’t got any treats so far. You get it?”

“But Amethyst, you’re overlooking that I have no interest in sugary treats. I do not want to put something so strange into my body.” She frowned at Amethyst’s snickering. “What!?”

“Your wording is _great_.”

“You’re not even _listening_ to me!” Peridot yowled, seething. “ _Fuck you!_ ”

“ _Peridot!_ ” Steven gasped, unable to cover his ears as both hands held the somewhat heavy cauldron.

Before Amethyst could respond, the door opened and a man stepped out, smiling with chocolate in hand before looking confusedly at the scene. Peridot gasped, and she leapt up out of hiding. Amethyst sprang up too, trying to look cuter than she already was.

“ _Die!!!_ ” Peridot shrieked excitedly, unsheathing her claws and baring fangs in an attempt at a threatening appearance.

“Treat!” Amethyst meowed cheerily, fluffing up her fur and purring with the effort of a car’s engine on a hot day.

“Trick or treat!” cheered Steven, sweating with the effort of trying to hold it all together.

“…Talking cats and _Jumpman_ …that’s new.” The man muttered, mostly to himself as he bent down and tried to drop a few miscellaneous chocolates into the bucket brimming with contrasting fur. Amethyst caught one in her mouth, swallowing it wrapper and all as Peridot battered them away.

“I don’t think your cats should be eating the wrappers, let alone the chocolate.” He commented, and he was absolutely right save for the fact that he wasn’t actually looking at real cats (don’t feed your pets chocolate and chocolate wrappers, kids!).

“I don’t think you have fully comprehended that you will die on this night, human male.” Said Peridot, still holding her position. Amethyst tilted her hips to the side and knocked her over, making Peridot yelp.

“T-Thank you, have a nice night sir.” Said Steven, hurriedly making sure all of Peridot was in the bucket before retreating back to the street towards the next house.

“What kind of performance was that, Amethyst!? You were required to scare him, not charm him!” Peridot stage whispered directly into Amethyst’s smug, chocolate coated face.

“Well I think I did a pretty good job myself.” Amethyst rumbled, giving her lips a satisfied lick before moving to groom her paw. “Whaddya think, Stevey?”

“I think you guys aren’t working together!” Steven pointed out exasperatedly, huffing as he took the longest strides he could. “And that Peridot knows more swear words than I thought she did.” He added sheepishly.

Peridot stubbornly held her head high. “The blame for that rests exclusively on Amethyst’s shoulders.”

“Yo, you’re the one who said fu—”

“ _Guys_ , Connie’s house is coming up soon so you really have to make up. I’m not the boss of either of you, but please don’t bring this fighting up when we see her, okay? Halloween is a time for friends and fun, not fighting and saying words that I’m not meant to hear.”

“Depends on how long Peridot wants to be an A-hole about it.” Huffed Amethyst.

“It’s okay Steven, things will resolve by then if Amethyst just _ceases to speak_.” Jeered Peridot.

“Oh boy…” Steven sighed, arriving at the next door. The night air was getting colder, but he continued to remain hot and sweaty in his overalls. The doorbell sounded from within after Steven pressed it, defeat painting his features. Amethyst decided it was the best time to bite Peridot’s ear, getting the desired yelp in response.

“Trick or treat!” Steven forced when another man opened the door, jolting the two into action. Peridot smacked Amethyst on the nose, _hard_ , making her flinch before jumping up to shout die again. Amethyst puffed up bitterly, forgetting to appear cute and instead mimicking the look of a famous internet cat.

“Ooooh, so scary!” The guy cried, pretending to be scared. Peridot looked ecstatic, proud of her seemingly successful performance. “I’m sorry darlings, I’m all out of candy, but I can give you precious things some forehead pets.”

Amethyst squirmed under the kind man’s palm, tail thrashing behind her. Peridot’s smile quickly disappeared when the man came closer to do the same. She battered his hand but he was successful. “No no _no!!_ I don’t want your _affection!_ I want your unbridled _terror!_ ”

“So cute, I wish my kitties could talk.” He said, returning to his doorstep. “Have a good night, Steven!”

“Peridot you are so dead.” Steven heard from the bucket.

“I will poof you where you stand, Amethyst.”

Steven quickly farewelled the man, taking his brewing pot back to the street with the one, simple wish that it had a lid. 

They visited another house – home to a bored looking teenager who didn’t even bat an eye at the squabbling, unnaturally coloured cats – before Steven’s heart picked up as Connie’s came into view. He raced up the paved path, standing at the front steps with a closed fist, ready to knock on the door. To his surprise, however, the door squealed open itself rather quickly, revealing Connie behind it.

“Steven!!”

“Connie!! Happy Halloween!”

She embraced him in a hug he couldn’t return with the luggage in his grasp. Connie stepped back in surprise at the sound of angry voices. Steven begged her to ignore them with his tired eyes.

“What’s with you and candy? What did it ever do to you?”

“What is it with _you_ and refusing to play tricks? Are you even the Amethyst I know and greatly appreciate?!”

“Oh.” Connie mumbled, gazing into the pot of hatred. “Hi Amethyst and Peridot…?”

Connie went ignored by Amethyst, who made the plastic bucket swing by stamping down her paw. “Of course I am!! Who else would want candy so bad?”

Peridot nearly tumbled out of the cauldron from the shaking, but struck right back with her own. “You _fool_ , you just ignored Connie’s greeting!”

“You did too, you damn _nerdburger!_ ”

“Your insult is invalid against me! You of all people are aware of the fact that I take being called nerd a compliment!!”

“Then I’ll call you a geek!! How about that, huh? Geek. Sandwich.” Amethyst stuck her tongue out to apparently add emphasis to her statement.

Peridot gasped, a paw held to her furred chest, appearing highly taken back. “You _meanie!!_ ”

“Yeah, that’s right, you’re messing with the meanest meanie to ever be _mean!!_ ” Amethyst boasted, puffing her fur up. “You’re just a moldy geek torta. Gross.”

“Guys…” Steven bit out, nervous of the argument reaching a regrettable peak, as well as incredibly embarrassed by the behaviour displayed by his ‘supervisors’. Pearl would have a fit.

Peridot had hackles, and they were prickling up. “Take that back! Take it back, right now!!”

“Never! You’re the _worst_ sandwich, nobody would ever eat you. _Ever_.”

“You are very mistaken. _I_ would be a fantastic and satisfying sandwich!! _You_ however, would be the gross moldy one! Offensive and disappointing!”

The bucket swayed in Steven’s faltering grip as Amethyst rose up on hind legs, Peridot copying the action to show she wasn’t backing down.

“Yo, you ready to back that up with fists? And by fists, I mean paws.”

“ _Guys_ ,” Steven hissed urgently, “Please don’t fight, not now!”

“May the better cat win.” Stated Peridot. “And by better cat, I am of course referring to myself.”

Connie quickly voiced herself, offering a bowl of candy in an uninformed attempt at dissolving the tension. “How about some candy to cool down?”

“ _No!!”_ Roared Peridot and Amethyst simultaneously, turning back to each other in shock before Amethyst suddenly tackled Peridot, the force of the action knocking their plastic cauldron from Steven’s hands. They screamed as they tumbled to the ground, the black plastic surface scoring as they struck each step. It rolled to a stop on the front lawn, a dizzy Amethyst stumbling out, followed by a dazed Peridot. They looked to each other before yelling out battle cries and meeting in a cluster of furry, clawed limbs.

Steven sighed, covering his face and giving a moan. “Why do they agree _now_ when they’re _fighting_?”

Connie shuffled aside to let Steven watch the fuss from the porch with her. “Peridot’s shapeshifting has improved?” She offered.

“Yeah, I guess so.” He stepped up and appreciated the space. “I just wish it didn’t get to this point. I thought they were better at working out stuff like this now.”

“They’re Amethyst and Peridot, they aren’t going to gel _all_ the time. They’re just so different to each other. I’m sure they’ll sort out whatever it is they’re fighting about once they take a step back from it. It’s just like my mom and dad. Well, I hope it is.”

“Do your mom and dad fight about whether to trick _or_ treat even though you’ve told them repeatedly that they can do both?”

Connie laughed, covering her mouth with her palm. “Steven, I think _you’re_ the mom and dad in this case.”

“Yeah, I’ve already accepted that role as my own at this point.” Steven shrugged, making them both burst into laughter, forgetting Amethyst and Peridot who persisted to roll around and growl at each other on Connie’s front lawn.

“Why can’t you just go with a bro?” Amethyst whined, kicking Peridot off her with her back legs.

“Because my _bro_ isn’t listening to my wishes!!” Peridot rolled away awkwardly in a form she wasn’t used to.

Amethyst paused for a second. “Hey, it’s not like I’m not listening. I know exactly what you want.”

“Then why won’t you help me gather fear?!”

“Because I wanna gather _candy!_ And when you piss-- “ she glanced to Steven and Connie “-- _make_ _people_ _mad_ , not even two talking cats will make ‘em cough it up.”

“I’m aware that you want treats. They are undoubtedly a staple in this annual celebration. But so is making people tremble in their pathetic boots with fright! It is _so_ endearing to see such a reaction to my presence once again. You won’t understand.”

Amethyst suddenly looked guilty. “…Look, if this is about your limb enhancers, I’m sorry. I said I was sorry before but--”

The unexpectedness made Peridot flustered and more fluffy than she already was. “No no no, you’re mistaken, this isn’t about that--"

“I didn’t mean to make you feel small.” Amethyst reiterated. “I mean--I did, but, ugh. I meant it when I said sorry.”

“ _Amethyst!_ I _know_ you did!” Peridot said, and all the fight visually left them both. “That has nothing to do with this. It is far from my mind and reasoning process.” She frowned, looking downcast. “I just… wanted to have fun with you.”

“…Me too.” Amethyst admitted after a pause. Her tail swished low. “I-I wanted that too.”

“Did you guys figure it out yet? It’s _awfully_ quiet over there.” Steven called from the porch, smiling when he successfully got Connie to laugh. In unintended synchronisation, Amethyst and Peridot both poked their sandpaper tongues out, which only made Steven and Connie laugh even harder. Steven even started coughing on the cold air, needing to wipe his eyes.

Amethyst huffed. “At least someone’s having fun.”

It made Peridot smile for the first time in a while, and then she was gasping and glowing, light form expanding up and out and then in again as she returned to her normal form, sitting on the cold grass. Her face crinkled back into a scowl. “Well. There goes my transformation.”

Amethyst chuckled a little, small but heartfelt. “To be honest I was half worried you were gonna lose it when you got mad and you would like, bust the bucket. Kudos.”

“Thanks.”

They stayed silent enough they could hear Connie and Steven’s chatting, and even the distant laughter of families roaming the streets, head to toe in fun, spooky costumes. There was a cricket somewhere in Connie’s garden, vibrating its legs together in the hopes of finding a mate.

“Hey, Peridot?”

“Yes?”

Amethyst sucked in a big breath, as big as her cat lungs would allow, before sighing it out. “Sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” Peridot uncrossed her arms.

“We junked up Halloween pretty bad.”

“So we did...”

Amethyst hesitated a bit, watching Peridot’s eyes as she put a paw down in her direction. Deeming it tolerated, she slipped over to Peridot’s side. Peridot shifted to invite her into her lap and Amethyst didn’t hesitate at all in taking it. She settled in with a purr, resting her chin in the plush of Peridot’s thigh. Peridot’s hand came down to stroke between her ears, making Amethyst’s eyes close into content slits.

“Let’s not fight again. In hindsight, I hate making you feel bad.”

“I like teasing you, but I took it too far this time.”

“We both did.”

“Yeah…”

From the porch they could hear hushed muttering and ‘you say it’ before they finally heard Connie’s voice. “Peridot? Do you think you can hold your cat form again?” She held up their busted plastic cauldron. “I haven’t been out trick-or-treating yet!”

Amethyst shook her head, smirking. She burst into light and turned back into her usual self, offering her hand to haul Peridot up, which she took. “ _Kids_ , amirite?”

* * *

Steven and Connie closed the front door and plopped down on her parent’s carpet with a sigh of relief, finally inside from the now cold October air and the pressures of remaining in-character to young children who wanted to pet their ‘cats’. Amethyst and Peridot climbed out of their cauldron --where they were keeping the treats warm -- so they could savour their haul.

“Okay,” Peridot continued happily, an audible rumble in her chest, “but when you waited the extra moment before scaring that child, that was the sign of a master in action. His face was priceless! So were his parents’, bwahaha!”

“If you’re asking for my notes, go right ahead.” Said Amethyst, bumping her fluffy cat shoulder into Peridot’s. “Just don’t copy my homework. A professional’s gotta keep at least _some_ of her secrets, heh…So uh--”

“Right. How about you show me to Connie’s bathroom.”

Amethyst smiled at that request like it was normal coming from a gem like Peridot. She grabbed a jelly snake with her paw and ate it in one go. “Sounds like a plan, my man.”

Connie and Steven watched as they curled their tails together and padded off to Connie’s downstairs bathroom for whatever inconceivable reason. Connie shrugged and freed the first chocolate from its wrapper.

“Well.” She popped it in her mouth and chewed, discovering caramel. “I don’t know what that just was, but it was certainly better than when they first arrived.”

“Me neither.” Steven took a brightly coloured hard candy and ate it. His face promptly screwed up. “Mmf!! Struck by a sour one… Just remind me to check on them if they’re gone too long. You guys might find yourselves out of toilet paper if I don’t. Orrr both of them trying to flush each other down the toilet. Both are plausible.”

“Noted.” Connie made sure she picked the same candy as Steven’s, and sure enough her face ended up like his. She squealed and they laughed and Steven pulled out his phone.

“Sour buddies!!!” He cheered, and they both pulled a sour-induced pout for a selfie. Steven frowned at the photo after taking it. “Hmmm…it’s needing something. I think we need a better angle than the floor.”

Connie scrambled up onto one of the loungeroom couches, patting the spot next to her. “You know what to do, Mr. Universe.”

“Ahaa, that’s my dad’s name.” Steven commented, holding his camera out to show he was taking a picture of her. When she nodded and he was satisfied, he took a running leap and landed next to Connie, bouncing her and pulling from her a giggle.

“Okay, take two.” He held the phone above them. Connie pulled the plastic cauldron up and put it between them, and they got a picture of their sugary haul to share with Connie’s parents (mother likely disapproving of their sugar intake) and Greg (and Pearl and Garnet, if they were interested).

The exact moment Steven questioned their scarily quiet absence was the moment Amethyst and Peridot chose to jump out from behind the couch and scare them both.

“How did you even get behind there?!” Connie yelled.

They looked at each other and shrugged. “Shapeshifting.” Peridot then suddenly slumped onto the back of the couch with a groan. Amethyst prodded her side to make sure she was okay, receiving a thumbs up.

“Speaking of which, I think I’m depleted for the remainder of this year. Ugh.”


End file.
